Haven't really had the motivation to blog about life diligently lately, feeling a tad guilty about it because I used to do weekly or even monthly update about what's going on in my life no matter how mundane. To make up for it though, I'm making an effort to edit and post pictures of the more "significant" happenings, which actually also takes up plenty of my time.
Anyway, something on my mind today. I was in Malaysia with my paternal family for the annual Qing Ming prayers over the long weekend and this trip had me seeing something in a slightly different light. My grandfather is 77, and he stays alone in Malaysia, away from us. I used to think (actually still think) that it's very saddening for an old man to spend his days all on his own. Basically, I just can't stand seeing old people on their own when it comes to eating/going out themselves or whatsoever even in Singapore. So when it comes to my OWN grandfather, I always thought that his children, which is my father and his siblings don't put in enough effort to care for him because the least they could do is to have him stay in sg together with us right? Even more so after my grandmother passed on, and he's been staying alone in our old house for almost 14 years now. The thought of it always make me feel wretched. However, on this trip back to homeland, I had a few light hearted conversations with 爷爷 and he somehow managed to convince me that there is nothing so bad about him not staying together with us. For one, we do have some relatives staying near him. Two, his expenses isn't really an issue because my dad and his siblings do send money back monthly. Most importantly, from our little convo, I sure as hell could tell that he enjoys nothing but the carefree and slow paced life in our small little town. I mean, even I would want to stay in the countryside when I grow old. Ok I side tracked, but ya this post is quite incoherent. Basically, I am just having a whole lot of mixed feelings about 爷爷 being so far away from us. Yes he might be able to seek comfort driving around town on his motorcycle everyday, play chess with his kopi kakis and be a free old man but what if something bad (touchwood!) happens to him one day and his closed ones are all overseas. How is it possible that we rush back from Singapore, even driving takes 4-5 hours and there aren't any direct flights back to Pahang ugh it's s frustrating!!!!
